Return-Path: X-Original-To: info@ausheart.com.au Delivered-To: info@ausheart.com.au Received: from localhost (marlin.fishinternet.com.au [127.0.0.1]) by marlin.fishinternet.com.au (Postfix) with ESMTP id 6D875DEB61 for ; Sun, 23 Apr 2006 09:23:03 +1000 (EST) Received: from marlin.fishinternet.com.au ([127.0.0.1]) by localhost (marlin.fishinternet.com.au [127.0.0.1]) (amavisd-new, port 10024) with ESMTP id 13963-05 for ; Sun, 23 Apr 2006 09:22:44 +1000 (EST) Received-SPF: none (marlin.fishinternet.com.au: 150.101.193.82 is neither permitted nor denied by domain of fathersonline.org) client-ip=150.101.193.82; envelope-from=info@fathersonline.org; helo=email.polyglot.com.au; Received: from email.polyglot.com.au (eth2643.nsw.adsl.internode.on.net [150.101.193.82]) by marlin.fishinternet.com.au (Postfix) with ESMTP id 2E857DEB5A for ; Sun, 23 Apr 2006 09:22:42 +1000 (EST) Received: from server ([192.168.100.14]) by email.polyglot.com.au with Microsoft SMTPSVC(6.0.3790.211); Sun, 23 Apr 2006 09:22:38 +1000 Thread-Topic: Fathering in Antarctica Reply-To: Message-ID: <1b2ab01c66663$a5281220$0101a8c0@polyglot.local> thread-index: AcZmY6UlDSGeTPnqRIWjVKe2y+hNcg== From: To: Subject: Fathering in Antarctica Date: Sun, 23 Apr 2006 09:22:38 +1000 MIME-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: multipart/alternative; boundary="----=_NextPart_000_1B2AC_01C666B7.76D42220" X-Mailer: Microsoft CDO for Exchange 2000 Content-Class: urn:content-classes:message Importance: normal Priority: normal X-MimeOLE: Produced By Microsoft MimeOLE V6.00.3790.326 X-OriginalArrivalTime: 22 Apr 2006 23:22:38.0545 (UTC) FILETIME=[A52A5C10:01C66663] X-Virus-Scanned: amavisd-new at fishinternet.com.au This is a multi-part message in MIME format. ------=_NextPart_000_1B2AC_01C666B7.76D42220 Content-Type: text/plain; charset="iso-8859-1" Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable =20 =20 Unable to read this email? Please click here =20 =20 Issue 182 - 20th February,2006 Go to our website Here =20 =20 * Welcome Warwick * Grandads * Laughter * Single Dads * All you need is Love * Thought of the Week * The ANZAC Spirit * News & Info * Dad's Prayer * About Us Welcome Warwick Morgan Freeman's words boomed out across the cinema," This is a story about love, and like most love stories, it begins with utter foolishness." =20 =20 What were we watching? The latest remake of 'Gone with the Wind', or a romantic version of 'Pride and Prejudice'? No, not exactly. My wife and I, with our 13 year old daughter, were snuggling up together, in the cinema seats, to watch 'The March of the Penguins'. Snuggling was the proverbial word as the average temperature on the screen was 20 degrees below freezing and that's without the wind chill factor. =20 That's what first struck me about the lives of the Emperor Penguins. How do they survive in such a harsh environment? They not only survive, but love blossoms in the coldest place on earth. The March of the Penguins is all about the love-life and family-life of these wonderful creations. God sure knew what he was doing when he created these birds. They have some lessons to teach us all. =20 This love story begins with a seventy mile march inland to a seemingly remote and barren rendezvous with penguins coming from many different directions. After greeting each other and exchanging pleasantries they find a mate amongst the many hundreds milling together. After consummation takes place the female lays an egg and covers it under a flap of skin. The pair carefully exchange the egg and the father then puts it under his flap of skin, and balances it carefully on his feet away from contact with the ice so that the new baby will not die before birth. The mother penguin treks back seventy miles to get food while the father stays huddled with all the other dads for 125 days without food. He will endure temperatures of up to 80 degrees below freezing in blizzards with winds up to 100 miles per hour, all the time carefully looking after the precious incubation of his new son or daughter. The male penguin will lose 1/3rd of his body weight while his female partner is off catching fish and replenishing her body weight. The father looks after the baby chick after birth and somehow feeds his newborn with the last of his stored reserves. Soon the mother returns and takes over the feeding of the newborn while all the fathers trundle back to the sea in single file to replenish body weight and stored reserves. From then on mother and father take turns looking after the rapidly growing penguin chick as the summer begins to approach and the sea comes closer and closer to the penguin's breeding ground. =20 The National Geographic movie was a huge hit in America and will find a willing audience here in Australia. The Movie Reviewer complained about Morgan Freeman's narrative as being too 'something or other' but we found the March of the Penguins absolutely inspirational. Tragically movie critics think that trash and cynicism are hallmarks of greatness. Many times you cannot trust them. The March of the Penguins is not to be missed.=20 =20 Lovework =20 As fathers, we can learn from the Emperor Penguin that it is a 'cool thing', quite literally, to look after our newborn. The whole concept of laying your life down for your wife and children is taken to a new level by the penguin fathers in the winter of Antarctica. =20 The concept of 'family first' takes on a whole new meaning after watching this movie. Go and see the March of the Penguins, and take your family. You will not be disappointed. =20 Yours for fathering in Antarctica Warwick Marsh =20 P.S. This week on Anzac Day,we honour our Fathers,Grandfathers, and the brave Women who helped them. We also honour and thank all those in the armed forces who currently serve our country both here and overseas. As a tribute to them, the Fatherhood Foundation is publishng a two part excerpt from Col Stingers' excellent new book on Manhood to honour the spirit of the Anzacs. ________________________________________=20 Warwick Marsh has been married to Alison for 30 years. He is=20 the father of five children, four boys and one girl, ranging in=20 age from 25 years to 13 years. Warwick is a musician,=20 songwriter, producer and public speaker who likes to think he=20 can still laugh at himself. back to top=20 =20 Grandads =20 =20 =20 The march of the penguins is . . . A story about love,=20 and like most love stories=20 it begins with utter foolishness. =20 Morgan Freeman =20 =20 =20 back to top=20 =20 Laughter =20 Pure Romance =20 An old couple were lying in bed one night.=20 The husband was falling asleep but the wife was in a romantic mood and wanted to talk. She said: "You used to hold my hand when we were courting." Wearily he reached across, held her hand for a second and tried to get back to sleep. A few moments later she said: "Then you used to kiss me. "Mildly irritated, he reached across, gave her a peck on the cheek and settled down to sleep. Thirty seconds later she said: "Then you used to bite my neck." Angrily, he threw back the bed clothes and got out of bed. =20 "Where are you going?" she asked. "To get my teeth!" =20 back to top=20 =20 Single Dads =20 =20 Court to test the rights of cuckolds Vanda Carson=20 April 20, 2006 The Australian =20 A LOOMING battle that could allow cuckolded men to sue deceitful wives for the cost of raising children conceived outside their marriage has been described by High Court judge Michael Kirby as opening a "Pandora's box". If the full bench of the High Court rules in favour of Victorian father Liam Magill, the court will set the ball rolling for dozens of new compensation cases, including those brought by men who learn they are not genetically related to their children and who want to recover child-support payments and other damages.=20 Mr Magill has alleged he was tricked into paying tens of thousands of dollars to his unfaithful former wife in support of two children that were not his own.=20 However, Justice Kirby said the court would have to take care in deciding the case.=20 "This is the Pandora's box we open ... every case where the male, hurt and having to pay child support, is unhappy about it, they are going to sue and claim minutiae of time they spent with the child who turns out not to be their genetic child," he said.=20 "We all know that in the family law situation, it is not just an ordinary case about money, it is often a case that involves a lot of emotion."=20 While the Liam Magill case could pave the way for dozens of new compensation cases, the same principle could also be used by an embittered "ex" who claims to have been duped into marriage because their partner said they were a millionaire, or they "owned a country castle".=20 Claims for damages could even arise if a partner committed bigamy as a result of their spouse lying about a previous marriage.=20 Justice Kirby, one of six judges hearing the case, told a hearing in Canberra this month that the law of deceit could be used vindictively by emotionally wounded couples.=20 Historically, the law of deceit, which is related to fraud, has only applied to commercial relationships, not those on a personal nature.=20 Justice Kirby said three important social changes appeared to be pushing the need for legal reform in this area: availability of quick and discreet tests to establish paternity, the rising rate of marriage breakdown and the end of laws allowing spousal legal immunity.=20 A decision in favour of Mr Magill would mean family issues involving the tort of deceit would be heard in the civil courts and not the Family Court.=20 Lawyers for Mr Magill's ex-wife Meredith argued it would be wrong to apply the law of deceit to family relationships, and warned that a finding for her husband would cause a rush of litigation against women.=20 Mr Magill learned he had not fathered two of his supposed children after he applied to the Family Court in 2001 for a DNA test to be carried out. He married Meredith in 1988, but 18 months into the marriage she began a long-term affair.=20 The marriage ended in 1992 after Ms Magill had given birth to three children, only one of whom was Mr Magill's. He continued to give 32 per cent of his income as child support for all three children until 1999, believing they were all his.=20 The court heard that the US has allowed such civil suits for years, dubbing them 'heart-balm" actions. But judge Ken Hayne pointed out that some US states were considering halting all spousal claims for deceit. http://www.theaustralian.news.com.au/story/0,20867,18867023-601,00.html =20 back to top=20 =20 All you need is Love =20 A Conversation about Marriage =20 By Armstrong Williams April 6, 2006 =20 Editor's Note: Although an American article the following is so true of the need to improve marriage the world over. =20 The single most overlooked reason why America struggles is simple: Divorce. Nearly 60 percent of marriages end in divorce and most of the social problems in our country can be traced back to this embarrassing fact. It may sound radical or even na=EFve to blame our social problems = on divorce, but until we start thinking of marriage as that important, our country will never reach its potential. =20 Currently our culture is explicitly concerned with the war, education, health care, terrorism, and the economy. And rightfully so. All of these things are critical to the success of our nation and to each of us. However they are not the most important issues facing our country today. Marriage is. A strong marriage creates a strong household. A strong household produces strong children. Strong children produce a strong society. It's a cyclical affect that has been forgotten and ignored in the last 50 years. Until our leaders start fighting for marriage in Congress, our churches start focusing on marriage in their temples, and each of us start labouring for our marriage in our households, our country will continue to fall short. =20 The couple, children, and society benefit from a strong marriage. When in a committed, loving, and monogamous relationship we feel complete. A loving spouse picks up where we leave off, makes up for our deficiencies, and brings out the very best in us. Children also feel more complete when their parents are happy together. Getting love and support from both parents enables children to grow up educated, confident, loving, productive, and principled. Society benefits because a strong marriage produces children who are generally become productive members of society. The advantages of a strong marriage and two parent household are literally limitless, and sadly the disadvantages of divorce and single parent households are just as limitless. =20 Single parent households hurt the adults, children, and society. The adults must work more hours to recoup lost income. One parent is expected to handle most, if not all, of the parenting. Each adult often feels alone, lost, depressed, and confused after losing their spouse. The children have one less person helping, nurturing, and loving them on a daily basis. They have a harder time understanding what a committed relationship entails because they miss out on seeing their parents in love. Society suffers because children who grow up in single parent households are more likely to be raised by grandparents or daycare volunteers which can retard development. These children tend to grow up with less confidence and security, and arguments have been made that they are slower to mature, learn, and produce positive results. Yes many parents who run a single parent home have done wonderful, admirable jobs raising their children by themselves, but they shouldn't have to. And likewise, many children who grew up in single parent homes have gone on to live healthy, happy, and productive lives, but they shouldn't have to either. =20 The church (and faith based organizations) is perhaps the most equipped institution for supporting marriages. Most churches encourage engaged couples to attend pre-marriage counseling before taking the plunge. This is a positive first step, but more should be done. Marriage ministries should become the norm at every church, and every married couple should be expected to attend, participate, and contribute to these ministries to some degree. Post-marriage counseling between the church and couple should occur on a regular basis and before problems arise. Couples should be expected to attend church services and functions regularly, and live by the standards set forth by the church. God made marriage for men and women who wanted to commit to a lifetime together, and churches must actively increase their support for engaged and married members. =20 Local, state, and federal governments should also take part in making marriage more successful. Simply put, our courts and governments need to make it more difficult to get married. Couples should be required by law to be engaged for at least one year prior to getting married. During that year they should be required to regularly attend pre-marriage counseling. After they marry, couples should be required to attend annual counseling or classes to keep their marriage license updated. Furthermore, getting a divorce should be more difficult. Unless there is a case of abuse, infidelity, or neglect, couples should be required to attend counselling before undergoing divorce proceedings. Officials must realize that providing leadership and resources to support marriage now will save our society money and heartache later. =20 More than the church and state, it is up to each of us to ensure that marriage succeeds. We must resist the urge to jump into marriage or be lulled in merely by material possessions, looks, or status. We need to look deeper into our partner's hearts and minds and really understand and know them before committing to a life with them. We must prepare for difficult times during the marriage and expect to work through these problems. Marriage is not easy, and each of us must understand that it is a two-way-street and takes consistent work to endure. And finally, we need to love God and love ourselves before we can love or be loved by another. =20 A strong marriage makes for strong children, which makes for a strong society. Marriage is more important than any institution in the world - more important than public schools, healthcare, or the military. It is perhaps the most important aspect of our society and without a doubt, it is now failing. We need to take a long, hard look at practical and creative ways to fix the problem. And we need to take a long, hard look at ourselves to see how each of us can again make the institution of marriage the cornerstone of our country. =20 =20 =A9 Armstrong Williams "The Right Side" 2006 back to top=20 =20 Thought of the Week =20 =20 The strongest evidence=20 of love is sacrifice =20 Caroline Fry back to top=20 =20 The ANZAC Spirit =20 =20 =20 The Anzac Spirit (Part 1) By Col Stringer =20 "Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one's life for his friends." (John 15:13). =20 Have you ever wondered why there is a huge resurgence of interest in the 'Anzac Spirit'? I believe it is because it touches the heart of every red-blooded Aussie. When I speak at schools, churches etc I ask the young people what could we learn from these young men (and women) who lay down their lives for us. Two things come to mind immediately, the first is Courage, the next is their wonderful unselfish spirit of Mateship, both of which are Christian virtues. =20 Courage Is Part Of The Anzac Spirit. =20 It's sad to say but most Australians are completely unaware of how courageous and effective our soldiers were. It was our Light Horsemen who were largely responsible for the liberation of Jerusalem from centuries of Muslim rule. The first defeat of the mighty 'Desert Fox' - Erwin Rommel in WW11, was by 'The Rats of Tobruk' - comprised mainly of Aussie Diggers.=20 =20 One of the most heroic achievements of our young Aussie Diggers was their magnificent efforts on the Kokoda Track in WW11. Japan had destroyed the powerful American fleet at Pearl Harbour - and conquered much of Asia - now suddenly the undefeated Japanese Army was right on our very doorstep. With most of our soldiers fighting in the Middle East the nation was vulnerable. All that stood between us and the horrors of invasion by the hitherto invincible Japanese were a few hundred young Aussie diggers. Despite what some would have us believe, the first defeat inflicted upon the Japanese land forces - who had swept down through Manchuria, Malaysia and Singapore - was by Aussie 'Diggers' mostly militia. These were 17-18 year old young men who had never been trained in warfare or who had ever fired a shot in anger. Nicknamed 'chocos' - short for 'chocolate soldiers' as they thought that they would melt in the sun. Patrick Lindsay wrote in 'The Spirit of Kokoda': =20 "The battle for the Kokoda Track is Australia's Alamo. If Gallipoli symbolizes the Anzac Spirit in WW1, then Kokoda is its WW11 equivalent?..They died so young. They missed so much. They gave up so much: their hopes, their dreams, and their loved ones. They laid down their lives that their friends might live. Greater love hath no man than this." =20 "These were not the tough campaigners of the AIF (regular army). In fact they were little more than kids. The average age was eighteen-Few had ever fired a shot; 'They were a rag-tag lot the 39th, the rejects from many companies. There was a chap named Matt Binns ' he only had one arm. The bugler had one arm too - he played a marvellous reveille. There was a chap with one eye and another one who was knock-kneed - he'd had polio when he was young. Our platoon leader was night-blind! They had joined up to defend their country!.The young men were treated poorly ...They were almost shanghaied. Given no time to train - many not given leave to farewell their families - they were rushed on board the ship and embarked." =20 To get some idea of the incredible odds these young men stood against, just a mere 77 Aussies (who had not slept in 3 days) withstood an onslaught of 1500 crack Japanese troops. In fact at one stage of the campaign only 110 young Aussies were all that stood between their loved ones in Australia and 6,000 merciless troops from the land of the Rising Sun.=20 =20 One young Aussie Digger wrote: "I prayed a lot. I believe in prayer. I knew my parents and grandparents were praying for me so that helped a lot. And, of course, I had my mates. When you have good friends, good mates you don't leave them. It was a brotherhood." "We got a message from Port Moresby that '..we had to stay there and fight to the death. That was horrifying. I thought, 'Well, I won't see my family again, I won't see Australia again.' But I was prepared, like the rest of us, to stay there and fight to the finish." =20 "The mateship that bound these young Diggers together can be gauged by the actions of the walking wounded. After one ferocious battle, they heard their mates were still trapped at Isurava and in dire straits, everyone who physically could, turned around and struggled back up the track to the hell-hole from which they had just been delivered. Of the 30 wounded, only three couldn't make it back ' one had lost his foot, one had a bullet in the throat and one had lost his forearm." ('The Spirit of Kokoda') back to top=20 =20 News & Info =20 =20 =20 =20 Sexual Integrity Forum Perth Saturday 29th April, 2006=20 Speakers: Warwick Marsh, Fatherhood Foundation and many others. For further information: Ph: Rob Furlong 08 9459 8522 Email: robf@tcoc.org.au =20 =20 =20 =20 How men are being pushed aside in employment Revealed: a nation of drop-outs=20 =20 By Tim Colebatch, Canberra, April 17, 2006 A growing underclass of jobless males is becoming entrenched in Australian society, according to Bureau of Statistics figures. Almost 250,000 men aged 25 to 44 are no longer looking for work, more than three times as many as a generation ago. Figures reveal that while female employment has boomed in the past 25 years, the number of men without a job in the prime of their lives has soared. In 1978, more than 90 per cent of men aged 25 to 44 had a full-time job. In the 12 months to March, that proportion dropped to 81 per cent. The number in part-time jobs jumped from 2 to 7 per cent, while those with no job at all jumped from 7 to 12 per cent. The sharpest growth has been in those not looking for work. From just under 4 per cent of prime-aged males in 1978, they jumped to 7 per cent in 1995-96, and have kept rising to almost 9 per cent now - a quarter of a million men on the sidelines. Other Government figures suggest almost half are living on disability pensions, which pay a higher rate than the jobless benefit, do not require recipients to look for work and offer more security against being thrown off benefits. In 2004, official figures showed 698,000 people living on disability benefits, of whom 114,000 were men aged 25 to 44. They include people assessed as suffering mental or physical disorders that prevent them holding a full-time job. The Government last year changed the rules so that new applicants capable of working part-time will be put on jobless (Newstart) benefits, but those already on disability support will be allowed to remain there. The St Vincent de Paul Society called on the Government to offer those on low incomes "a vision of hope" and adequate income support rather than forcing people on welfare to move "out of the frying pan and into the fire". "It's all very well to get the welfare rolls down, but these are real people involved," the society's director of social policy, John Falzon, said yesterday. "What Vinnies is concerned about is that the cohort of people who are at the very bottom is going to grow. Already we are seeing a phenomenon that is new to Australia - the growth of the working poor." In 2004, official figures showed 698,000 people living on disability benefits, of whom 114,000 were men aged 25 to 44. They include people assessed as suffering mental or physical disorders that prevent them holding a full-time job. The Government last year changed the rules so that new applicants capable of working part-time will be put on jobless (Newstart) benefits, but those already on disability support will be allowed to remain there. The St Vincent de Paul Society called on the Government to offer those on low incomes "a vision of hope" and adequate income support rather than forcing people on welfare to move "out of the frying pan and into the fire". "It's all very well to get the welfare rolls down, but these are real people involved," the society's director of social policy, John Falzon, said yesterday. "What Vinnies is concerned about is that the cohort of people who are at the very bottom is going to grow. Already we are seeing a phenomenon that is new to Australia - the growth of the working poor." Andrew McCallum, past president of the Australian Council of Social Service, said the figures reflected the costs of casualising the workforce, which discouraged young people from committing to careers and led more of them to drop out. "These are people who have not grown up with the idea of a job for life," Mr McCallum said. "They look at everything in bite-sized chunks, because what they're offered is not secure jobs, but cameo performances. Employers don't hire people any more, they hire skills. They want to buy the skills they need at a particular time, off the shelf, ready for the task, then fire them when they're no longer needed. They don't want to invest in people." A Bureau of Statistics survey last year found few of the men staying at home were doing so to bring up children. Only one in 30 said they were staying home to raise children. Almost 40 per cent of men at home said they were disabled, injured or ill. About one in four said they were studying, and another one in four said they were looking after the house or a relative. In recent years, the bureau has tracked a revolution in attitudes to older workers. The proportion of men who keep on working in their late 50s and 60s is now at the highest levels in a generation, while the proportion of older women staying on at work has doubled in a generation. Most women now remain in the workforce until at least 60. Of the 4 million jobs added to the economy since 1978, 2.35 million have gone to women. * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * =20 Letters =20 Dear Fatherhood Foundation =20 Thanks, keep pushing......Godly manhood, men of integrity, passion, purpose, who have the balls to stand with conviction for real principles. That truth is absolute, that right and wrong don't change with your feelings or circumstances.=20 =20 These blokes are out there ...they need encouraging that they are not alone, that the fight to stem the tide has intensified. Good on ya and Tony Miller and Barry and the hard working under financed shared parenting mob. =20 God bless the flaming lot of ya. =20 Nigel (Port Macquarie NSW) =20 * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *=20 =20 Dear Fatherhood Foundation =20 I recently met Warwick and his wife at a marriage seminar in Melbourne. I have just read your latest news letter. Thanks for the encouragement. This Easter I was one of the dads that didn't have the opportunity to spend with my family. They were a few of the worst days of my life. I went to church and hung out with some of my Christian friends but nothing could take that sense of emptiness and hopelessness away. You see it's not only that I missed my kids, but I also miss my wife. Even though we have been divorced 4 years I just can't get passed the fact that I married for life. Anyway it was nice to get this newsletter. Thanks guys your work is helping people like me cope.=20 =20 God bless Alex =20 * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * =20 Dear Fatherhood Foundation =20 Hey my brother, your newsletter made it through! Thanks for your excellent work and dedication to fathers, family, and the next generation.=20 =20 I have started work on the next book, Girl's Passage - Father's Duty. It is always an emotional roller coaster to write about my children, especially my daughter...Many smiles and a few tears. =20 Brian Molitor Author of 'Boy's Passage - Man's Journey' Malachi Global Foundation 1550 Collins Lane Midland, Michigan, USA 48640 briandmolitor@aol.com =20 www.malachiglobal.org =20 www.powerofagreement.com =20 back to top=20 =20 Dad's Prayer =20 =20 Dear God =20 It's pretty inspiring=20 watching the Emperor Penguins do life together. Did you create them just to=20 teach me a lesson or what? I mean they really work together when they get hitched. Sacrifice is not a dirty word for a dad=20 who often goes for four months without food=20 just to look after his new family of one. This takes your idea about laying your life down=20 to a whole new level. back to top=20 =20 About Us Mission Statement & Help Us! =20 =20 Mission Statement=20 The Fatherhood Foundation is a charitable, non profit incorporated association with a goal to inspire men to a greater level of excellence as fathers, by encouraging and educating them, thereby renewing and empowering families. Click here for more information about us =20 Help Us! The Fatherhood Foundation believes that the key to life is giving. That's why this newsletter is given freely without expectation. Life is also about relationships. That's what being a good father is all about, developing relationships with your loved ones. =20 If you would like to give financially to the Fatherhood Foundation, please mail your cheque or money order to: Fatherhood Foundation PO Box 440 WOLLONGONG NSW 2520 AUSTRALIA You have received the fathersonline.org newsletter because you have subscribed, or you have been subscribed by a friend. If you do not wish to receive future emails, please click the UNSUBSCRIBE button below or send an email to info@fathersonline.org with the word UNSUBSCRIBE in the subject heading. back to top=20 Click Here to Unsubscribe =20 ------=_NextPart_000_1B2AC_01C666B7.76D42220 Content-Type: text/html; charset="iso-8859-1" Content-Transfer-Encoding: 8bit Fatherhood Foundation
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Issue 182 - 20th February,2006 Go to our website Here


Welcome Warwick

Morgan Freeman's words boomed out across the cinema," This is a story about love, and like most love stories, it begins with utter foolishness." 

 

What were we watching?  The latest remake of 'Gone with the Wind', or a romantic version of 'Pride and Prejudice'? No, not exactly.  My wife and I, with our 13 year old daughter, were snuggling up together, in the cinema seats, to watch 'The March of the Penguins'.  Snuggling was the proverbial word as the average temperature on the screen was 20 degrees below freezing and that's without the wind chill factor.

 

That's what first struck me about the lives of the Emperor Penguins.  How do they survive in such a harsh environment?  They not only survive, but love blossoms in the coldest place on earth.  The March of the Penguins is all about the love-life and family-life of these wonderful creations.  God sure knew what he was doing when he created these birds.  They have some lessons to teach us all.

 

This love story begins with a seventy mile march inland to a seemingly remote and barren rendezvous with penguins coming from many different directions.  After greeting each other and exchanging pleasantries they find a mate amongst the many hundreds milling together.  After consummation takes place the female lays an egg and covers it under a flap of skin.  The pair carefully exchange the egg and the father then puts it under his flap of skin, and balances it carefully on his feet away from contact with the ice so that the new baby will not die before birth.  The mother penguin treks back seventy miles to get food while the father stays huddled with all the other dads for 125 days without food.  He will endure temperatures of up to 80 degrees below freezing in blizzards with winds up to 100 miles per hour, all the time carefully looking after the precious incubation of his new son or daughter.  The male penguin will lose 1/3rd of his body weight while his female partner is off catching fish and replenishing her body weight.  The father looks after the baby chick after birth and somehow feeds his newborn with the last of his stored reserves.  Soon the mother returns and takes over the feeding of the newborn while all the fathers trundle back to the sea in single file to replenish body weight and stored reserves.  From then on mother and father take turns looking after the rapidly growing penguin chick as the summer begins to approach and the sea comes closer and closer to the penguin's breeding ground.

 

The National Geographic movie was a huge hit in America and will find a willing audience here in Australia.  The Movie Reviewer complained about Morgan Freeman's narrative as being too 'something or other' but we found the March of the Penguins absolutely inspirational.  Tragically movie critics think that trash and cynicism are hallmarks of greatness.  Many times you cannot trust them.  The March of the Penguins is not to be missed.

 

Lovework

 

As fathers, we can learn from the Emperor Penguin that it is a 'cool thing', quite literally, to look after our newborn.  The whole concept of laying your life down for your wife and children is taken to a new level by the penguin fathers in the winter of Antarctica.

 

The concept of 'family first' takes on a whole new meaning after watching this movie.  Go and see the March of the Penguins, and take your family.  You will not be disappointed.

 

Yours for fathering in Antarctica

Warwick Marsh

 

P.S.

This week on Anzac Day,we honour our Fathers,Grandfathers, and the brave Women who helped them.

We also honour and thank all those in the armed forces who currently serve our country both here and overseas. As a tribute to them, the Fatherhood Foundation is publishng a two part excerpt from Col Stingers' excellent new book on Manhood to honour the spirit of the Anzacs.

________________________________________

Warwick Marsh  has been married to Alison for 30 years. He is
the father of five children, four boys and one girl, ranging in
age from 25 years to 13 years.  Warwick is a musician,
songwriter, producer and public speaker who likes to think he
can still laugh at himself.

back to top

Grandads

 

The march of the penguins is . . .

A story about love,

and like most love stories

it begins with utter foolishness.

 

Morgan Freeman

 

back to top

Laughter

 

  Pure Romance 

An old couple were lying in bed one night.

The husband was falling asleep but the wife was in a romantic mood and wanted to talk.

She said: "You used to hold my hand when we were courting."

Wearily he reached across, held her hand for a second and tried to get back to sleep.

A few moments later she said: "Then you used to kiss me.

"Mildly irritated, he reached across, gave her a peck on the cheek and settled down to sleep.

Thirty seconds later she said: "Then you used to bite my neck."

Angrily, he threw back the bed clothes and got out of bed.

"Where are you going?" she asked.

"To get my teeth!"

 

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Single Dads

 

Court to test the rights of cuckolds

Vanda Carson

April 20, 2006  The Australian

 

A LOOMING battle that could allow cuckolded men to sue deceitful wives for the cost of raising children conceived outside their marriage has been described by High Court judge Michael Kirby as opening a "Pandora's box".

If the full bench of the High Court rules in favour of Victorian father Liam Magill, the court will set the ball rolling for dozens of new compensation cases, including those brought by men who learn they are not genetically related to their children and who want to recover child-support payments and other damages.

Mr Magill has alleged he was tricked into paying tens of thousands of dollars to his unfaithful former wife in support of two children that were not his own.

However, Justice Kirby said the court would have to take care in deciding the case.

"This is the Pandora's box we open ... every case where the male, hurt and having to pay child support, is unhappy about it, they are going to sue and claim minutiae of time they spent with the child who turns out not to be their genetic child," he said.

"We all know that in the family law situation, it is not just an ordinary case about money, it is often a case that involves a lot of emotion."

While the Liam Magill case could pave the way for dozens of new compensation cases, the same principle could also be used by an embittered "ex" who claims to have been duped into marriage because their partner said they were a millionaire, or they "owned a country castle".

Claims for damages could even arise if a partner committed bigamy as a result of their spouse lying about a previous marriage.

Justice Kirby, one of six judges hearing the case, told a hearing in Canberra this month that the law of deceit could be used vindictively by emotionally wounded couples.

Historically, the law of deceit, which is related to fraud, has only applied to commercial relationships, not those on a personal nature.

Justice Kirby said three important social changes appeared to be pushing the need for legal reform in this area: availability of quick and discreet tests to establish paternity, the rising rate of marriage breakdown and the end of laws allowing spousal legal immunity.

A decision in favour of Mr Magill would mean family issues involving the tort of deceit would be heard in the civil courts and not the Family Court.

Lawyers for Mr Magill's ex-wife Meredith argued it would be wrong to apply the law of deceit to family relationships, and warned that a finding for her husband would cause a rush of litigation against women.

Mr Magill learned he had not fathered two of his supposed children after he applied to the Family Court in 2001 for a DNA test to be carried out.

He married Meredith in 1988, but 18 months into the marriage she began a long-term affair.

The marriage ended in 1992 after Ms Magill had given birth to three children, only one of whom was Mr Magill's. He continued to give 32 per cent of his income as child support for all three children until 1999, believing they were all his.

The court heard that the US has allowed such civil suits for years, dubbing them 'heart-balm" actions. But judge Ken Hayne pointed out that some US states were considering halting all spousal claims for deceit.

http://www.theaustralian.news.com.au/story/0,20867,18867023-601,00.html

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All you need is Love

 

A Conversation about Marriage

By Armstrong Williams

April 6, 2006

 

Editor's Note:  Although an American article the following is so true of the need to improve marriage the world over.

 

The single most overlooked reason why America struggles is simple: Divorce. Nearly 60 percent of marriages end in divorce and most of the social problems in our country can be traced back to this embarrassing fact. It may sound radical or even naïve to blame our social problems on divorce, but until we start thinking of marriage as that important, our country will never reach its potential.

 

Currently our culture is explicitly concerned with the war, education, health care, terrorism, and the economy. And rightfully so. All of these things are critical to the success of our nation and to each of us. However they are not the most important issues facing our country today. Marriage is. A strong marriage creates a strong household. A strong household produces strong children. Strong children produce a strong society. It's a cyclical affect that has been forgotten and ignored in the last 50 years. Until our leaders start fighting for marriage in Congress, our churches start focusing on marriage in their temples, and each of us start labouring for our marriage in our households, our country will continue to fall short.

 

The couple, children, and society benefit from a strong marriage. When in a committed, loving, and monogamous relationship we feel complete. A loving spouse picks up where we leave off, makes up for our deficiencies, and brings out the very best in us. Children also feel more complete when their parents are happy together. Getting love and support from both parents enables children to grow up educated, confident, loving, productive, and principled. Society benefits because a strong marriage produces children who are generally become productive members of society. The advantages of a strong marriage and two parent household are literally limitless, and sadly the disadvantages of divorce and single parent households are just as limitless.

 

Single parent households hurt the adults, children, and society. The adults must work more hours to recoup lost income. One parent is expected to handle most, if not all, of the parenting. Each adult often feels alone, lost, depressed, and confused after losing their spouse. The children have one less person helping, nurturing, and loving them on a daily basis. They have a harder time understanding what a committed relationship entails because they miss out on seeing their parents in love. Society suffers because children who grow up in single parent households are more likely to be raised by grandparents or daycare volunteers which can retard development. These children tend to grow up with less confidence and security, and arguments have been made that they are slower to mature, learn, and produce positive results. Yes many parents who run a single parent home have done wonderful, admirable jobs raising their children by themselves, but they shouldn't have to. And likewise, many children who grew up in single parent homes have gone on to live healthy, happy, and productive lives, but they shouldn't have to either.

 

The church (and faith based organizations) is perhaps the most equipped institution for supporting marriages. Most churches encourage engaged couples to attend pre-marriage counseling before taking the plunge. This is a positive first step, but more should be done. Marriage ministries should become the norm at every church, and every married couple should be expected to attend, participate, and contribute to these ministries to some degree.

Post-marriage counseling between the church and couple should occur on a regular basis and before problems arise. Couples should be expected to attend church services and functions regularly, and live by the standards set forth by the church. God made marriage for men and women who wanted to commit to a lifetime together, and churches must actively increase their support for engaged and married members.

 

Local, state, and federal governments should also take part in making marriage more successful. Simply put, our courts and governments need to make it more difficult to get married. Couples should be required by law to be engaged for at least one year prior to getting married. During that year they should be required to regularly attend pre-marriage counseling. After they marry, couples should be required to attend annual counseling or classes to keep their marriage license updated. Furthermore, getting a divorce should be more difficult. Unless there is a case of abuse, infidelity, or neglect, couples should be required to attend counselling before undergoing divorce proceedings. Officials must realize that providing leadership and resources to support marriage now will s ave our society money and heartache later.

 

More than the church and state, it is up to each of us to ensure that marriage succeeds. We must resist the urge to jump into marriage or be lulled in merely by material possessions, looks, or status.  We need to look deeper into our partner's hearts and minds and really understand and know them before committing to a life with them. We must prepare for difficult times during the marriage and expect to work through these problems. Marriage is not easy, and each of us must understand that it is a two-way-street and takes consistent work to endure. And finally, we need to love God and love ourselves before we can love or be loved by another.

 

A strong marriage makes for strong children, which makes for a strong society. Marriage is more important than any institution in the world - more important than public schools, healthcare, or the military. It is perhaps the most important aspect of our society and without a doubt, it is now failing. We need to take a long, hard look at practical and creative ways to fix the problem. And we need to take a long, hard look at ourselves to see how each of us can again make the institution of marriage the cornerstone of our country.

 

 

© Armstrong Williams "The Right Side" 2006

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Thought of the Week


The strongest evidence

of love is sacrifice

 

Caroline Fry

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The ANZAC Spirit

 

The Anzac Spirit (Part 1)

By Col Stringer

 

"Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one's life for his friends." (John 15:13).

 

Have you ever wondered why there is a huge resurgence of interest in the 'Anzac Spirit'? I believe it is because it touches the heart of every red-blooded Aussie. When I speak at schools, churches etc I ask the young people what could we learn from these young men (and women) who lay down their lives for us. Two things come to mind immediately, the first is Courage, the next is their wonderful unselfish spirit of Mateship, both of which are Christian virtues.

 

Courage Is Part Of The Anzac Spirit.

 

It's sad to say but most Australians are completely unaware of how courageous and effective our soldiers were. It was our Light Horsemen who were largely responsible for the liberation of Jerusalem from centuries of Muslim rule. The first defeat of the mighty 'Desert Fox' - Erwin Rommel in WW11, was by 'The Rats of Tobruk' - comprised mainly of Aussie Diggers.

 

One of the most heroic achievements of our young Aussie Diggers was their magnificent efforts on the Kokoda Track in WW11. Japan had destroyed the powerful American fleet at Pearl Harbour - and conquered much of Asia - now suddenly the undefeated Japanese Army was right on our very doorstep. With most of our soldiers fighting in the Middle East the nation was vulnerable. All that stood between us and the horrors of invasion by the hitherto invincible Japanese were a few hundred young Aussie diggers. Despite what some would have us believe, the first defeat inflicted upon the Japanese land forces - who had swept down through Manchuria, Malaysia and Singapore - was by Aussie 'Diggers' m ostly militia. These were 17-18 year old young men who had never been trained in warfare or who had ever fired a shot in anger. Nicknamed 'chocos' - short for 'chocolate soldiers' as they thought that they would melt in the sun. Patrick Lindsay wrote in 'The Spirit of Kokoda':

 

"The battle for the Kokoda Track is Australia's Alamo. If Gallipoli symbolizes the Anzac Spirit in WW1, then Kokoda is its WW11 equivalent?..They died so young. They missed so much. They gave up so much: their hopes, their dreams, and their loved ones. They laid down their lives that their friends might live. Greater love hath no man than this."

 

"These were not the tough campaigners of the AIF (regular army). In fact they were little more than kids. The average age was eighteen-Few had ever fired a shot; 'They were a rag-tag lot the 39th, the rejects from many companies. There was a chap named Matt Binns ' he only had one arm. The bugler had one arm too - he played a marvellous reveille. There was a chap with one eye and another one who was knock-kneed - he'd had polio when he was young. Our platoon leader was night-blind! They had joined up to defend their country!.The young men were treated poorly ...They were almost shanghaied. Given no time to train - many not given leave to farewell their families - they were rushed on board the ship and embarked."

 

To get some idea of the incredible odds these young men stood against, just a mere 77 Aussies (who had not slept in 3 days) withstood an onslaught of 1500 crack Japanese troops. In fact at one stage of the campaign only 110 young Aussies were all that stood between their loved ones in Australia and 6,000 merciless troops from the land of the Rising Sun.

 

One young Aussie Digger wrote: "I prayed a lot. I believe in prayer. I knew my parents and grandparents were praying for me so that helped a lot. And, of course, I had my mates. When you have good friends, good mates you don't leave them. It was a brotherhood." "We got a message from Port Moresby that '..we had to stay there and fight to the death. That was horrifying. I thought, 'Well, I won't see my family again, I won't see Australia again.' But I was prepared, like the rest of us, to stay there and fight to the finish."

 

"The mateship that bound these young Diggers together can be gauged by the actions of the walking wounded. After one ferocious battle, they heard their mates were still trapped at Isurava and in dire straits, everyone who physically could, turned around and struggled back up the track to the hell-hole from which they had just been delivered. Of the 30 wounded, only three couldn't make it back ' one had lost his foot, one had a bullet in the throat and one had lost his forearm." ('The Spirit of Kokoda')

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News & Info

 

 

 

Sexual Integrity Forum Perth

Saturday 29th April, 2006

Speakers: Warwick Marsh, Fatherhood Foundation and many others.

For further information:

Ph: Rob Furlong 08 9459 8522
Email: robf@tcoc.org.au

 

 

 

How men are being pushed aside in employment

Revealed: a nation of drop-outs

 

By Tim Colebatch, Canberra, April 17, 2006

A growing underclass of jobless males is becoming entrenched in Australian society, according to Bureau of Statistics figures.  Almost 250,000 men aged 25 to 44 are no longer looking for work, more than three times as many as a generation ago.

Figures reveal that while female employment has boomed in the past 25 years, the number of men without a job in the prime of their lives has soared.  In 1978, more than 90 per cent of men aged 25 to 44 had a full-time job. In the 12 months to March, that proportion dropped to 81 per cent. The number in part-time jobs jumped from 2 to 7 per cent, while those with no job at all jumped from 7 to 12 per cent.

The sharpest growth has been in those not looking for work. From just under 4 per cent of prime-aged males in 1978, they jumped to 7 per cent in 1995-96, and have kept rising to almost 9 per cent now - a quarter of a million men on the sidelines.

Other Government figures suggest almost half are living on disability pensions, which pay a higher rate than the jobless benefit, do not require recipients to look for work and offer more security against being thrown off benefits.

In 2004, official figures showed 698,000 people living on disability benefits, of whom 114,000 were men aged 25 to 44. They include people assessed as suffering mental or physical disorders that prevent them holding a full-time job.  The Government last year changed the rules so that new applicants capable of working part-time will be put on jobless (Newstart) benefits, but those already on disability support will be allowed to remain there.

The St Vincent de Paul Society called on the Government to offer those on low incomes "a vision of hope" and adequate income support rather than forcing people on welfare to move "out of the frying pan and into the fire".

"It's all very well to get the welfare rolls down, but these are real people involved," the society's director of social policy, John Falzon, said yesterday.  "What Vinnies is concerned about is that the cohort of people who are at the very bottom is going to grow. Already we are seeing a phenomenon that is new to Australia - the growth of the working poor."

In 2004, official figures showed 698,000 people living on disability benefits, of whom 114,000 were men aged 25 to 44. They include people assessed as suffering mental or physical disorders that prevent them holding a full-time job.  The Government last year changed the rules so that new applicants capable of working part-time will be put on jobless (Newstart) benefits, but those already on disability support will be allowed to remain there.

The St Vincent de Paul Society called on the Government to offer those on low incomes "a vision of hope" and adequate income support rather than forcing people on welfare to move "out of the frying pan and into the fire".

"It's all very well to get the welfare rolls down, but these are real people involved," the society's director of social policy, John Falzon, said yesterday.  "What Vinnies is concerned about is that the cohort of people who are at the very bottom is going to grow. Already we are seeing a phenomenon that is new to Australia - the growth of the working poor."

Andrew McCallum, past president of the Australian Council of Social Service, said the figures reflected the costs of casualising the workforce, which discouraged young people from committing to careers and led more of them to drop out.

"These are people who have not grown up with the idea of a job for life," Mr McCallum said. "They look at everything in bite-sized chunks, because what they're offered is not secure jobs, but cameo performances.  Employers don't hire people any more, they hire skills. They want to buy the skills they need at a particular time, off the shelf, ready for the task, then fire them when they're no longer needed. They don't want to invest in people."

A Bureau of Statistics survey last year found few of the men staying at home were doing so to bring up children. Only one in 30 said they were staying home to raise children. Almost 40 per cent of men at home said they were disabled, injured or ill. About one in four said they were studying, and another one in four said they were looking after the house or a relative.

In recent years, the bureau has tracked a revolution in attitudes to older workers. The proportion of men who keep on working in their late 50s and 60s is now at the highest levels in a generation, while the proportion of older women staying on at work has doubled in a generation.   Most women now remain in the workforce until at least 60. Of the 4 million jobs added to the economy since 1978, 2.35 million have gone to women.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

 

Letters

 

Dear Fatherhood Foundation

 

Thanks, keep pushing......Godly manhood, men of integrity, passion, purpose, who have the balls to stand with conviction for real principles. That truth is absolute, that right and wrong don't change with your feelings or circumstances.

 

These blokes are out there ...they need encouraging that they are not alone, that the fight to stem the tide has intensified. Good on ya and Tony Miller and Barry and the hard working under financed shared parenting mob.

 

God bless the flaming lot of ya.

 

Nigel (Port Macquarie NSW)

 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

 

Dear Fatherhood Foundation

 

I recently met Warwick and his wife at a marriage seminar in Melbourne. I have just read your latest news letter. Thanks for the encouragement. This Easter I was one of the dads that didn't have the opportunity to spend with my family. They were a few of the worst days of my life. I went to church and hung out with some of my Christian friends but nothing could take that sense of emptiness and hopelessness away. You see it's not only that I missed my kids, but I also miss my wife. Even though we have been divorced 4 years I just can't get passed the fact that I married for life.  Anyway it was nice to get this newsletter. Thanks guys your work is helping people like me cope.

 

God bless Alex

 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

 

Dear Fatherhood Foundation

 

Hey my brother, your newsletter made it through!  Thanks for your excellent work and dedication to fathers, family, and the next generation.

 

I have started work on the next book, Girl's Passage - Father's Duty.  It is always an emotional roller coaster to write about my children, especially my daughter...Many smiles and a few tears.

 

Brian Molitor

Author of 'Boy's Passage - Man's Journey'

Malachi Global Foundation

1550 Collins Lane

Midland, Michigan, USA  48640

briandmolitor@aol.com

www.malachiglobal.org

www.powerofagreement.com

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Dad's Prayer



 Dear God

 

It's pretty inspiring

watching the Emperor Penguins

do life together.

Did you create them just to

teach me a lesson or what?

I mean they really work together when they get hitched.

Sacrifice is not a dirty word for a dad

who often goes for four months without food

just to look after his new family of one.

This takes your idea about laying your life down

to a whole new level.

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About Us

Mission Statement & Help Us!

Mission Statement

The Fatherhood Foundation is a charitable, non profit incorporated association with a goal to inspire men to a greater level of excellence as fathers, by encouraging and educating them, thereby renewing and empowering families.

Click here for more information about us

Help Us!

The Fatherhood Foundation believes that the key to life is giving.  That's why this newsletter is given freely without expectation.  Life is also about relationships.  That's what being a good father is all about, developing relationships with your loved ones.
 
If you would like to give financially to the Fatherhood Foundation,
please mail your cheque or money order to:
Fatherhood Foundation
PO Box 440
WOLLONGONG  NSW  2520
AUSTRALIA

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